There was a giant inflatable cyclist by transition - which at least does show the 'gently undulating' course in the background. That was the last part of the downhill of the cycle route...
This is me getting in for my swim. I'm one of the ones in the lake. Nope, no idea which one - we all looked the same!
I'd hired a wetsuit, cheerfully saying 'small' safe in the knowledge that the firm would, as promised, phone me to discuss the final size. They never did. It was TIGHT. Apparently they're meant to be but it still needed the Melodeon Master and me working together to get me into it...
Once we were in the lake we lined up, and then we were off! The woman in front of me kicked back soundly and landed her foot square on my ribcage. Ooof! They went so fast... so I just stuck to my rhythm and concentrated on negotiating the significant amounts of pond weed... Gradually they slowed down and I started to pass people - of the 62 of us who started I reckon I was about 15th getting out of the water - 10 minutes, so already a minute down on my required time...
And on to the bike. Directly uphill from the start and six laps of the 'gently undulating' circuit... I was really worried that I would lose count, but on lap two I spotted jelly babies on the road and they became my lap counters - on lap three I didn't see them, lap four I saw them again, lap five I ran the purple one over and on lap six I got him again...
The course was uphill for about two thirds, then there was a tiny flat bit with a vicious crosswind, then a tricky downhill which I now know from watching the Tour of Britain is what's known as a 'technical descent'. There was a tight double bend at the bottom of the downhill and in our pre-swim pep talk we were warned to take it gently as someone had crashed there already...
This is the top of the first climb - still going uphill although it doesn't look like it. I cycled as hard as I could for all 6 laps, knowing that my run would be one paced... I was overtaken by fit looking blokes and several girls - but comfortingly they were all about 30 years younger than me and had things like 'Aylesbury Triathlon Club' written on their tri-suits... I overtook lots of people too and I lapped one bloke twice. Mind you, he was on a unicycle...
On lap 3 at the beginning of the downhill section I spotted a fit looking girl ahead of me and thought 'I can pass her' so I actually kept pedalling and really wellied it down the hill. And scared myself absolutely witless as the concrete track fizzed past me under the wheels... All I could think of was 'this is going to be messy when I fall off'...
At the end of lap 6, having run the purple jelly baby over for a second time, I skidded on the last bend for good measure and hurtled back into transition, unclipping my helmet strap and racking the bike for maximum speed... And was given a time penalty for unclipping my helmet strap BEFORE racking the bike. Just like Jonathan Brownlee at the Olympics! How cool is that!! Except all I had to do was re-clip it, and unclip it. About 3 seconds. Which I don't think made any difference to my time at all...
The run section was on grass, some of it hillocky, and some of it uphill. Again. My legs were like rubber (really must practice the whole bike/run thing more) and I was, as ever, resolutely one-paced. At first I didn't believe my clever watch thingy and the pace, but eventually realised it was right - about 7.15 per k, which isn't too shabby at all. And still nursing a slightly dodgy right knee...
There are, thankfully, no pictures of me running as I'm sure I was puce in the face with helmet hair, as usual. You can have a nice piccy of the inflatable runner at transition instead...
On the second lap of the run there was a water station and I took a cup of water, but couldn't figure out how to drink it while running so I chucked it over my head instead. Probably helped the look no end...
And my overall time? 1 hour 44 minutes. Two minutes slower than my personal best. However, and in my defence, the courses weren't comparable.... this one was 400m further, and whereas the previous one was dead flat, this one had a total climb of over 236 metres. That's as high as Caerphilly Mountain. Gently undulating??? Really???
So I went 400m further and climbed Caerphilly Mountain in only 2 minutes longer. I'm gradually coming round to the idea that that was Pretty Damned Good.
My goal was to beat my personal best time, which I didn't do. Maybe I'll do it again next year on this same course and beat this year's time... Maybe.
And no, Fit Mark, you can't have your sponsorship money back...
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