‘Not what I expected’ is probably the best way to sum it up… I’d seen pictures of RideLondon last year and the hordes of finishers on the mall, just like the London (running) Marathon. That was what inspired me.
This was different - although I am a strictly ‘amateur’ cyclist, I’m also not part of a cycling club. It did feel rather like everybody else was. I’d say a good 95% of the participants were just that - weekly club cyclists who were VERY good.
At the start I was next to an older chap who said he’d done it last year, he ‘just wanted to get round’ and he was happy to pootle along at 12mph to get round in the time. I actually wondered how I could politely leave him at the start as I intended to keep closer to 15mph. And then we started - and off he went. I clocked myself at 15mph, he clearly wanted to go faster, so I politely suggested he was going to be quicker, he agreed and - well - off he went. As did everybody else. And I do mean EVERYBODY. I was overtaken by the masses in Lycra, carved up by whizzy girls (and it was mostly the girls) on bikes and even overtaken by two Lycra clad bods on folding bikes.
The first eight miles were tough - no camaraderie, no cheering crowds, no nothing, just tarmac and being overtaken. We were slowed by marshalls on the first flyover - where a lady had come off and had a very bloody head, nasty - and then everyone else whizzed off again.
I don’t know if it was just the lack of training in the last three weeks due to my hand, or if I was just having ‘a bad day on the bike’ but my legs were like lead… I started doing maths. I’d heard a rumour at the start that the two hills were taken out - I hadn’t had an email, but apparently it was only on Twitter. Helpful. So that made it 86 miles. After 5 miles I worked out I was ‘one seventeenth’ of the way through - yay! (Actually, I had worked out I was 5:17ths of the way through - almost a third, oh wow this is SO easy. Doh!) Then at 9 miles it was a tenth, and so on…
And then the heavens opened. Weirdly, and extremely perversely, that made it SO much more fun! Is it my mud running history? Am I just odd? Who knows - pedalling through Kingston in totally torrential rain was absolutely brilliant. Manhole covers were lifting, there were floods under bridges, driving rain and strong winds - I really enjoyed that bit!
The rain eased to steady drizzle and we ploughed on… and on… and on… I couldn’t change gear with my left hand at all, but I got very adept at doing it right-handed without wobbling. Yay - a new skill!!
I stopped for a ‘comfort break’ somewhere around 12 miles and got very stuck in Richmond Park behind another accident - some poor unfortunate being loaded carefully and slowly into an ambulance which held up the ride for about 20 minutes. Altogether I saw 6 people being put into ambulances on my ride - too many, and quite sobering. It made the decision to take out the two big hills very sensible. And today we've learned that one poor lad died on the course after a heart attack. Which is very sobering.
And then there were the punctures... We’d been warned in an email on Saturday that punctures would be more prevalent in the wet, and to carry extra inner tubes. I had just one. I didn’t even want to think about getting a puncture - I can change one, but having got thoroughly wet through and cold it would have taken me AGES to do it, so I concentrated like mad, avoided every bump, drain cover and cats eye and was very lucky not to puncture. New tyres helped, I’m sure… I saw my first ‘person mending a puncture’ within the first half mile, and probably saw over 200 people fixing punctures at the side of the road - extraordinary. I heard of one poor chap who had EIGHT punctures. Good grief.
At 50 miles there was an unexpected and steep hill up to a feeding hub at Newlands Corner - my cousin Emma was aiming to be there to see me, but timings were difficult to calculate. I stopped for another ‘comfort break ‘ (must have been all the rain) and then queued for ages to get a hot cup of coffee. With lots of sugar. I’d packed my cycling jersey with jelly babies, Snickers, Rice Krispie Squares and even peanut butter sandwiches, but a hot drink was really what was needed. Others were buying chips and hamburgers - anything to get warm again. Emma said they arrived just as I was leaving and they saw me whizz surprisingly quickly away from the hub. Must have been the coffee! Or of course it could have been somebody else...
Our curtailed route (phew - I was soooo glad those hills were out) got us to the next hub at Leatherhead more quickly and as the caffeine seemed to have worked, I had another coffee, courtesy of a fabulous crew at the Fairfield Centre - lots of lovely sympathetic ladies selling cheap but delicious coffee and cakes.
And then back through Kingston, where it rained AGAIN. I’d taken my rain jacket (those things aren’t waterproof, whatever the sales girl had said) off because the sun had come out and I was roasting. There was a massive clap of thunder, the sky went black and the heavens opened. Everybody hid under the trees at the side of the road. Apart from me. I bunged my rain jacket back on and kept going - it was fab! Hailstones bouncing off the road and my nose, deep surface water, sideways rain, absolutely brilliant. I hope the official photographers got some pictures of me grinning through the rain - there were some supporters sheltering in shop doorways who all cheered at anybody still cycling (me, mostly) and it felt great. There was this picture on Facebook today:
It doesn't actually look wet enough...
One last hill - Wimbledon - which I managed to whizz up fairly quickly, passing others on my way (ha - now they know what it feels like, they shouldn’t have gone so fast at the start) and keeping my eyes open to see Emma’s mum, my Aunty Barby, at the end of her road. When I’d first mentioned I was going to do RideLondon, she said ‘that’s the damned thing that shuts my road’ and I happily agreed it was. So she came to watch. Brilliantly, and rather extraordinarily, as I got to the end of her road, she arrived with Monroe, her gorgeous little dog. Hooray - someone I know!! I stopped for a chat and a hug, and it was really lovely to see a friendly face. After about 5 minutes I set off again, and from there it really was downhill and easy all the way to the Mall and the finish.
I collected my medal (large and heavy) and my goody bag (full of grotsweets) and my kit bag which I’d given in at the start. I stowed my bike in the bike park and went off to the Guide Dogs reception to change and meet a puppy or two.
They’d left 5 minutes before I got there. Boo. They’d been there ages, we’d all taken way longer than expected with the weather, so perfectly reasonable, bless them. However, no cute pictures of me with a Guide Dog puppy with my medal. So have a cute picture of a puppy anyway…
The finish of the men’s (proper) race was still an hour away and I was really tired so I thought I’d just give it a miss and take my bike to the bike transport station where I’d paid for it to be transported back to the start and my hotel. I’d then hop on the Tube and make my own way, free of the bike. Simples. I followed the signs towards the river, then the signs in the opposite direction, then the signs to Horseguards Parade (where the trucks were meant to be) and where the security guards were preparing for some large event and knew nothing about any trucks. Then more signs in opposing directions, then across the road where the men’s race was coming through, so I waited to see that (no choice really, we weren’t allowed to cross) then down to the river where the signs disappeared completely.
I was by then looking for a taxi (at any cost) just to get me back to base. The Underground doesn’t allow bikes, so that was out. Cycling wasn’t an attractive option in the traffic and not knowing London, so I was well and truly stuck. I saw a RideLondon couple looking at a map and asked if they were looking for the trucks too. They said they were heading for the Tower of London where they could pick up the Docklands Light Railway (which did allow bikes) and get back to the start and their hotel. I asked if I could tag along and we cycled - probably about 3 miles, nice and flat, but not quite what I’d planned…
The couple (from Llandudno) did a brilliant job, and we found Tower Gate DLR, then changed somewhere and ended up where we all needed to be. I am soooo grateful to them - I could well still be circling Buckingham Palace without their help.
So that was it - 7 hours 50 cycling (I reckon a good hour of that was stationary with the feed stations, loos and that accident) and then a further THREE hours to get back to my hotel.
Would I do it next year? I’ll just paraphrase a certain rowing Knight of the Realm:
“Anybody who sees me entering RideLondon 2015 has my permission to shoot me.”
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