Oh, Elsie, Elsie…
How could you?? I am referring, of course, to your email about how to achieve MudMaster status. I know I have to do ‘three different events’. I know. I’ve done Oblivion (heavy cold, twisted a knee) and Classic (knee brace slid down, unbelievably slow, loved the Muddy Tub Of Love) so I was all set for the IceBreaker (got myself a mountain bike and pink bike helmet and everything). All set, that was, apart from my slightly dubious knees… And then, aha, a breakthrough! I met a podiatrist who said ‘I can give you new knees in two weeks’ to the accompaniment of a yellow glow around his head and the sound of angels singing… Alas, he turned out to be an Incompetently Dangerous Imbecile Or Tosser (IDIOT) who has left me with ligament and joint damage around the old sacroiliac joint…
So your email reference to ‘hope your training is going well’ was a little upsetting. Indeed, as I type this there are tears streaming into my keyboard. Which is not good and will probably result in something of a shrotcirciut vrey qiukcly. There is, frankly, No Training At All happening. Well, not unless you count decanting sloe gin into bottles and making cakes… New Running Dog is doing agility classes so at least one of us is agile. Can she enter IceBreaker on my behalf? She’ll be good with the mud and the 10k (did you know it was actually 12.6k at Classic?) but might struggle with the bike although she’s a quick learner…
And the bit about ‘hope you had a good xmas’ was also sadly misplaced… coping with a slightly demented mother and four tons of Brussel sprouts led to a somewhat fractious xmas day which said slightly demented mother didn’t even remember by Boxing Day. But it’s ok, we have a plan for next year - we’re going to move her electronic date clock directly from 24th to 26th December and just tell her she had a nice time…
So to your final line of ‘there’s no way round it if you want to be a MudMaster (free MudMaster hoody, different colour race number and right to brag freely to all and sundry - what’s not to love) you have to do the IceBreaker’.
I KNOW!
It’s 5 weeks today. I have no working back and two dodgy knees. I can’t currently run, cycle or walk the dogs much…. So I only have one question:
If I don’t finish till it’s dark, will you wait for me??
Yours with much love and Happy New Yearness,
Sarah xx
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