We've arrived! Now all we have to do is figure out how the bike goes back together... we get the front wheel on OK, then I draw a complete blank on the back wheel, so we ask the competent looking chap at the next car, who has already sorted his bike out... he gets it all fixed together, and admires the bike.
It's a long walk to the business end of the event - nearly a kilometre... the organisers had said in the information, but it seems like an AWFULLY long way. My knees are kind of wobbly... we are also lugging all my stuff (trainers, helmet, towel, stuff) as well as our picnic.
We've arrived about an hour and a half before 'the off' but I take ages sorting out my entry, finding my timing tag, getting my free T shirt (free stuff, great!). I take my bike to the dreaded racking - it's really clearly labelled, with huge numbers at the end of the racks, and then individual numbers on the poles. I don't even need my Welsh flag and the tape... I'm number 457.... I put my bike where it's meant to be, and lay out my towel, trainers, watch, socks, Lucozade and cycling gloves underneath it. It looks very neat. My knees are still wobbling.
Then it's the wetsuit... The tip from the boys in the cycling shop about thin socks really helps it glide over my feet. Knees and hips are another matter, however! This could take practice...
Eventually I win! Even Blunkett seems impressed. We attach the timing chip to my right ankle, add the fabulously pink hat and my goggles. And I'm ready...
It's at this point that I remember lunch. I haven't eaten... it's now 12.45 and it's too late as the race is off at 1.10. Pity! I have some dark chocolate and a swig of Lucozade and that'll have to do... I join the other pink hats at the entrance to the lake and we're asked to get in with about 10 minutes to go - it's not nearly as cold as I expected, and it actually feels rather lovely. The water seems very clean and I practice gentle swimming in the collecting area, then float a bit on my back admiring my newly painted toenails. We're told that if we get into trouble we are to float on our backs (good, practised that bit already) and wave an arm. There are kayaks and inflatable motorboats in the water ready to fish us out. I swim every day - I'll be fine. The route is a triangle - out to a bollard, turn right to another bollard, turn right to the end. The first bollard looks a long way away...
Then the air horn goes, and we're off. And I'm instantly in trouble... I don't know why, but I can't move through the water, I can't get my breathing right, and I don't seem to be making any headway. A slight sense of panic sets in and after about 20 metres I do actually consider sticking my arm up - this is really weird. Then I remember all the sponsorship, give myself a severe talking to, and buckle down. Nobody is going much quicker (well, ok, apart from the speedy people at the front) and the woman to my right flips over on to her back and tries backstroke - she's struggling too. We reach the first bollard, and that's a third of it gone, so it must be ok really. I give up trying to go fast and simply try to survive... backstroke lady keeps trying different ways of swimming and then we're at the second bollard. I realise that I'm going to be very slow, so on the third leg I wave at Guy. I look at someone on my right who seems to be going well, and find that I'm going as quickly as she is - seriously weird.
Then we're at the ramp out of the water, and I walk while the water is still waist deep. There's a chap on the ramp out saying 'well done' and 'great' - very encouraging. As my wetsuit is hired I go to the blokes collecting wetsuits who I was told would 'help me get out of it'. Their idea of helping is to stand and watch whilst wearing cycling capes to not get splattered with water as I thrash around. I grab the nearest shoulder to keep myself upright and peel the thing off - it's not easy! I am absolutely sodden as I jog to my bike - but then as I've been in a lake I guess I would be.
I dry my toes, pull on my socks and trainers, buckle up my helmet, put on my gloves, have a swig of Lucozade, grab the bike and I'm off... It doesn't feel as bad as I'd expected - not slippery at all, which is good news. I can't seem to get in the right gear at the beginning and Guy is well placed on the road as I set off... I yell something like 'no gears' and then I'm past him and on my way. We're cycling up one side of the rowing lake, across the end, and down the other side. Four times! The first side is brilliant - the bike is fantastic, I'm really whizzing along and not many of the women pass me. At the end there's a cross-wind, and on the second side there is a seriously vicious head-wind. And four bridges to cycle up and across... The wind is so strong that I have to move down 3 gears to keep going. I pass a couple of people. As soon as we round the bottom of the lake, the wind drops and it becomes a joy again. As I pass Guy I yell 'the wind's like Lanzarote!' and then I'm gone again.
By the fourth lap I'm passing people each time on the headwind side - I'm loving the bike ride! I get passed by lots of men - they started after us, but they're QUICK! I admire the bikes, and one particularly fine drinking bottle placed upright on some guy's handlebars with a long tube to drink out of. I shall have to get one of those...
We have to get off our bikes as we go back into 'transition', rack the bike again, helmet off and then, well, what? Er, just run! I grab my bottle of water and jog tentatively towards the 'OUT' where the run starts. I jog and walk and jog and walk - my legs are quite wobbly, I have no rhythm to run to as I haven't run before, and I don't really know what I'm doing. We have to do two laps on a wide pavement - up the left, turn at the 1250 mark, back down on the right, turn again near the finish, up the left, down the right. I am VERY slow. And I walk a few bits - on one of them a tall, tanned, fit looking girl puts an encouraging hand on my back and says 'come on, you can do it!' It's very encouraging, but I want to tell her that I have newly repositioned knees, I haven't run in 30 years and I'm trying my hardest, but by the time I think of all that she's long gone...
A lot of people pass me, but then I knew they would - I have working knees, but I've only just got them! I am even passed by a lady who runs like a pantomime horse - knees together, feet wide apart. Why doesn't she have knee problems? Maybe she will in a few years - I worry for her knees. After the half way turn I find a rhythm, and then I do run the whole of the second lap, apart from about 10 strides where I walked to take a drink from my bottle. I need one of those tube thingies if I'm not going to knock all of my front teeth out... As I head for the finish a nice steward indicates the turn and suggests that I turn for another lap... I say 'no thanks' and he tells me it's an 'optional sprint finish'. Hah!
The finish is funnelled between barriers, and there are people clapping and yelling encouragement - and I do run faster, although I wouldn't call it sprinting!
And then I'm through the finish. The end! I did it! A medal is placed around my neck (hooray!) and then there are two ladies on chairs saying 'please raise your ankle we need to take your timing tag off'. You're kidding, right? I've just done 400m in a lake, 20k on a bike and a 5k run and now you want me to stand on one leg? I vaguely wave a leg in her direction and hang on to somebody passing...
Guy and Blunkett are there to meet me and I insist on a photo by the finish. I have helmet and lake hair - it is really crusty!
I am SO pleased! It really is a brilliant feeling. A bit like banging your head on a brick wall - it's nice when it stops!
When we get back to the car we meet nice bike fixing man and compare notes - he had exactly the same problems in the swim as I did! We agree we probably need to find a lake and practice - must have been the wetsuits! Rhys from the bike shop had said there would be a moment when I thought 'never again' but I didn't expect it to be 20m into the swim! Will I do it again? Well, all day today I've been saying 'I did my first triathlon yesterday'... My first? This implies that there will be more!
Watch this space....
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