This, of course, bearing in mind that I haven't really run for a couple of months and have been doing Fairly Serious Cycle Training except in the last two weeks when I've mostly been ill.
No matter.
I'd volunteered to help with the warm up and back mark the children's race on Saturday teatime and that was an absolute doddle - 5 minutes of jumping up and down next to Graham on the microphone warmed me up nicely, and then I got to follow the kids round the mud. I did try to run the first hill, really I did, and I lasted all of, ooh, 60 yards. After that it was walking all the way, no emergencies and no disasters, and I don't think I lost any of them...
On Sunday the Melodeon Master and Happy Running Dog came too - Happy Running Dog said it was the best fun EVER and she personally wanted to greet every single person and every single dog at the event. That could have taken a while.... The Melodeon Master was playing for the children's warm-up and I was jumping up and down again, so we parked Happy Running Dog with a lovely couple nearby and their eminently more sensible labrador, the Melodeon Master played and I, well, I jumped up and down again.
After all the children had run (very fast, some of them, hugely impressive) up the hill, we bounced around the field sniffing bottoms (ok, that really was just Happy Running Dog) and waited for the adult's race to start. I was planning to go in the last wave - the one for 'just here for the beer' as I wanted to go super slowly, run where I could, survive the day, not get injured and preferably finish before the sun went down. I'm not really doing 'competitive' at the moment....
I managed to run the first, ooh, 80 yards of the hill and then walked the rest of it.
Look - that's me in the green, running.
Make the most of it, I walked about 3 yards later...
After the uphill there was the downhill, and the uphill, and the downhill. At the top of the first hill the lovely fitness club ladies I was near started shrieking OOH MUD! when there was a little puddle. I didn't have the heart to tell them... Then we got into the seriously muddy stuff and there was more shrieking.
After the recent rain the mud was at its very best - good and sticky, gloopy and deep. Splendidly deep in places. There really isn't any better mud. I asked one of the lovely fitness club ladies at about 5k how much she was enjoying herself. She said she hadn't realised it would be quite so muddy... Actually, the Eastnor mud really does stick...
I was running in a fabulous bunch of people - all of us jogging or walking, sliding, slipping and getting stuck. And the shrieking! Wails, howls, whoops, cries, shrieks and giggles. And that was just the men... There were some impressive Romans in togas, there were pirates and there were grown-ups dressed as school kids, there was a hippo, a few zebras (at least I think they were zebra onesies...) and a couple of cats.
After about 5k I was warmed up and ran a bit more. That's 'a bit more' compared to 'really not at all' of course. At about 7k the mud got even more sticky and most of us were losing a shoe. Or both. I'd knotted my laces super tight yet both shoes were being sucked off with each slippery step. The slurping noise of shoes being sucked out of mud was spectacular...
At 8k there was a water station and one (very clean) chap with a camera was clearly waiting for his party to come through, saying 'how can they possibly take 2 1/2 hours to do under 10k?' I did try to explain about mud, hills, obstacles, more hills, water, wading, mud and more mud but I don't think he really believed me. Perhaps I should have said we'd been round twice already...
The lake before the end was gorgeous, although worryingly warm... No, really, I don't want to think about it... The knotty rope climb up the steep slope was hilarious - here's a tip for you: don't, whatever you do, get the giggles near the top. You will never, ever make it to the ridge! It made good spectating for those of us waiting at the bottom though, and when the hapless giggler finally made it to level ground there was always a resounding cheer.
Before the last lake was a super long water slide with water being pumped from the lake onto the padded mats. It was BRILLIANT! I was miles behind anyone else, so I had a clear run, although it didn't matter one jot because I was going downhill so fast on my front that the spray I created meant I couldn't see a thing and then when I landed in the splash pond at the bottom I could see even less. BRILLIANT! I turned round, wiped the water out of my eyes and saw two hulking great blokes hurtling towards me. I legged it over the straw bales PDQ...
I really couldn't have been wetter by this stage, so I swam across the last lake, hauled myself out and jogged round to the cats cradle just before the finish. One lovely gentleman clapped as I went past which was so kind - he must have been doing that for hours, so he deserves a medal too.
I collected my fab wooden medal, my bottle of water and my Mars bar and set off to find the Melodeon Master and Happy Running Dog who had been entertaining themselves (and talking to EVERYBODY) while I was jogging round Eastnor.
Happy Running Dog was distinctly unimpressed with my medal...
Until she found she could chew it....
I've got home, I've had a hot bath (that mud gets into places I didn't even know I had places), a cold bath (got to look after the muscles) and I'm sitting down with a nice cup of tea to watch the cycling.
It was such FUN! Apart from not being well, I'd got a bit tired of cycling and turbo-training, so a completely different day was just what I needed. The brilliant camaraderie, the fun vibe, the glorious mud, the fabulous marshals and the best organisation ever have led to me feeling invigorated, enthused, motivated and ready to crack on with the bike for the next 6 (gulp) weeks.
I've also just had a very clever text telling me (seriously, how do they know that I'm me? I'm very impressed) that I completed Oblivion in 2.28.44. Under 2 1/2 hours!!!
Blimey, if I actually ran some of it I might get round in under 2...
That sounds like a target to me.
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