It was a good idea at the time...

I've entered a triathlon.  Again.  I'm now two years older than I was when I first did one (without a clue, on a borrowed bike, never having swum in a lake or a wetsuit before) and it's still my best time.  In my second triathlon I managed to ride the first 12k of the 20k bike ride with my brakes jammed on (I just thought I was going into a headwind both ways).  And in my third attempt I didn't fix my front wheel properly so it was wonky like a clown's bike in a circus.  Which I didn't discover until I'd finished.

So this time, with the joint aims of beating my original time and raising money (please sponsor me, please sponsor me, please sponsor me), I've enlisted the help of a 'Beginners Triathlon Guide' which I've found on Google.  Brilliant - it's going to help me, right?

Plan to train

“Ideally, pick a triathlon 16 weeks in the future”.  I’ve got 5 weeks.  Close enough.

“Aim to peak 2-3 weeks before the event”.  That’s in two weeks then.  Ah.

Training to lose weight?

“If I want to lose a pound every two weeks, then I shoot for 2250 net calories per day because a pound is 3500 calories; one pound per two weeks is 3500 calories / 14 days = 250 calorie deficit per day.  2500-250 = 2250 so on a day where I’m going to burn 750 calories with exercise I’ll target 3000 calories in.  If I wanted to lose a pound per week I’ll shoot for a net intake of 2000 calories per day.”

My brain hurts.   I'll just eat less and do more, eh?

Bike

“You’ll need a bike”.  Tick!  YAY!

“Make sure your tires are inflated properly and do a visual inspection of your bike.”  Yes, I can see how that might be helpful…

Swim

“Your first time swimming in open water you may freak out.”  Yep, did that.  This is my third time.  I’ll be fine.  I’ll be fine.  I’ll be fine.

Run

“Keep most or all of your training at a nice steady pace with a comfortable effort level - it might be hard to make yourself slow down…”  No, I’m good with ‘slow down’.  That’s the bit I’m actually VERY good at…

“If you can go out for 4-6 easy, short runs a week to start that is ideal.”  4-6 runs a WEEK???  Have you met my knees???

In an effort to do 'proper training' the Melodeon Master and I went out on the road bikes this morning.  I didn't fall off, and I did manage to change gears - progress!  

Photo of the week:  France's Julie Bresset holding her bike aloft after winning the women's Olympic mountain bike race.

So after our ride naturally I recreated the pose.

And then the front wheel spun round and hit me on the head...