Ice Breaker - the full filthy story...

Filthy story? Oh yes... These were my mud runners today...

And we started off looking so CLEAN! Look - I've got red laces and everything. We'd both got sort of snood head thingies to keep our heads/necks/chins warm in case it was seriously cold - Ice Cream Sian looked stylish and bohemian in hers, I had mine at a slightly drunken angle and just looked odd. I also had an official Mud Runner bib and (Beagle Nic, be very jealous) a Walkie Talkie! I know - how exciting is that?? I have to say it was lovely to listen to the various messages on the way round and not once did anyone say 'where the hell are the backmarkers and why are they so SLOW??'

The race started at 11.00am and there were a lot of seriously fit looking people there. Apart from us. No fancy dress this time - serious stuff. Well, apart from the bloke in the 'Sort-of-a-tiger outfit'. We waited until everybody had started, then we set off. And promptly met three latecomers on bikes coming in. So we stopped and waited again. They were young and fit, romped past us having dropped their bikes off and we were 10 minutes behind most of the field within the first kilometre. Hey ho.

The run course was the October Classic course in reverse, minus the stinking swamp (phew). Half way up the first long hill we decided we should be fitter... The route was slippy, muddy, sodden, slidey and hilly - lovely! It went surprisingly OK, although we weren't very quick, and apart from me drowning the walkie talkie at 7k when I lost my footing in one of the deep bits (Elsie - again, my apologies for that, are you sure I don't owe you for it?) which meant we were out of radio contact, it all really went ok... Oh, apart from where this pic was taken when we were returning to transition and passed the leading competitor who was going out on his final RUN. So that meant he was 20k (and two and a half hours, as it turns out) ahead of us. Demoralising? No, not really - he shouted 'Go on girls, keep going!' very cheerfully. Obviously we couldn't shout back - no puff to spare, and all that...

We changed shoes for dry ones with dry socks at transition, added another layer in case we got cold on the bikes, had a chomp on a Snickers bar (very nice, but it was stuck in my teeth for the next 3k), replenished the drinks bottles, added padded cycle trousers (essential - have you seen how narrow my saddle is - OUCH!), got given a new walkie talkie and off we went. I would have had a good glug of Lucozade too but I couldn't get the top off the bottle...

This is Ice Cream Sian heading out on the bike section, looking every inch the competent mountain biker:

And this is me, so kitted up in layers and fluorescent backpack that I look like a Special Constable. Except I don't think they have pink bike helmets...

As we rounded the second corner and started to go off-road I hit a mud patch, got stuck and put my feet down. Yay - wet muddy feet again! The bike section started with the same long hill as the run, so we walked up it again, only this time pushing bikes. Then it was down, then a long uphill, which was when we both discovered we had gear problems - I didn't have my bottom set of 'granny' gears, and Ice Cream Sian had limited gears overall. We pushed the bikes up the hill. At the top we hopped back on and started a long grassy descent. I don't think I've cycled on grass since I was about 6 years old - that stuff is SLIPPY!! Ice Cream Sian confidently whizzed off down the hill and I tried to keep up.... then a bit of road, another downhill grassy slope, then a vicious uphill. We walked and pushed the bikes...

After some more ups and downs we were into the deer park of Eastnor Castle and proper tarmac - fantastic long downhill stretch which was bliss, then a flat bit then yet more uphills. We still hadn't got our gears fixed so were really stuffed on the uphills - we walked and pushed. After about 7k we passed one of the marshalls in a Landrover who said 'not far to the fun stuff now' which we fondly thought meant 'easy downhills'. Nah - MUD! Oh boy - I've never seen mud like it! We asked each marshall whether anybody had actually cycled these sections and the usual response was 'only the first two - everyone else has walked and pushed'. So we didn't feel so bad, but it was still REALLY hard work shoving the bikes up muddy slippy hills. Ice Cream Sian was braver than me at cycling through some of it - I wimped out and ran, pushing the bike. The mud section lasted about 5k but just seemed endless - there were several moments when I wondered if we would ever finish, but apparently we were only about 5 minutes behind the backmarkers. One of the delightful marshalls said we were quicker than he'd expected - YAY!

We could hear on the walkie talkie that some people had dropped out and that somebody got injured. We were still going on, even if very slowly...

By the time we cleared the mud my bike had developed a noise akin to Darth Vader on a bad day - weird grating noise but however hard I looked, I couldn't find the cause. Just had to keep pedalling. We passed some enormous obelisk which tourists no doubt flock to - all we could muster was 'yeah, nice' as we laboured past it.

After the mud sections it seemed easier, although we still had problems on the uphills, and Ice Cream Sian was looking increasingly unwell... she admitted to feeling lightheaded and began to stop making any sense at all at times... worrying. In the last 2k of the bike section there was a vicious little hill (Elsie called it 'cheeky' - that's not what we called it) and Ice Cream Sian was in pain - she said it was the worst she'd had since giving birth. We stopped for a while and I asked her if she really ought to carry on. She fixed me with a steely glare and muttered through gritted teeth 'I want that hoodie'.

So we carried on... This is us returning to transition - Guy took the pictures and said at this point we looked fresher than some had done. Probably because we'd walked a lot of it!

We racked the bikes and got some serious sugar into Ice Cream Sian - mostly chocolate and Lucozade (I can't remember who eventually got the lid off, but thank you!).

The last section was 'only' 3k so we decided to keep going... My legs were like rubber and running again felt really strange... One of the marshalls was tracking our progress and over the walkie talkie said 'are they up the big hill yet?' I got on the walkie talkie and asked how big the big hill was.... Elsie said that it wasn't very big at all and we must be nearly up it and then explained that all we had to do was go downhill, through the river, round the lake, up a teensy bit and we'd be finished... The river section was oh, so COLD - about 100 yards along a stream which at least cleared the mud off and then trying to run across a field on feet like blocks of ice... Gradually the feeling came back and then we were trotting round the lake - very beautiful. We started chatting about how it had gone and I said that at least next time we'd know to take more sugar and drink with us on the bike section. Next time?? Ice Cream Sian sensibly ignored me...

And then we saw the finish - a huge, beautiful, big banner saying FINISH. Brilliant - we'd done it! Yay, Yay and YAY! Slow, but we had finished. I'm not sure I want to see the official times - although I was meant to be at the back our goal had been to keep the backmarkers in sight and we hadn't seen a soul since 6k into the first run... Never mind, we still DID IT!

Ice Cream Sian and I completed 33k entirely under our own steam: 10k mud run, 20k mountain bike, 3k mud run. We are SO proud of ourselves! We have Mud Master hoodies (yes, I am still wearing it 24 hours later), fab T shirts and brilliant medals. We're stiff but happy.

And I even fancy going for a run...