Tri and Tri again...

Fit Mark has set Ice Cream Sian and me a challenge. He reckons if we can't do the Machen 8 in less than an hour by September, we're not fit for the Classic Mud Runner in October... Ice Cream Sian and I duly turn out at 7.30am on Friday and complete the Machen 8 (actually it's 8.2k not that I'm being picky or anything) in 1.05.46. Not bad! We're fairly sure we can shave off 5.46 by September - Fit Mark's not running with us until then as he has (in this order) Charlie's birthday, mountain bike, mountain bike, his own (fortieth - gosh he's OLD) birthday and the 6 Moor Miles run filling the weekends between now and then. So, we have a target. And we'll do it...

In the meantime, as I was looking for another tri to try before the end of the summer, on Monday evening I came across the Lydney Tri Club Triathlon. You may remember that back in April (16th, imprinted on my memory as The Day I Did My Hamstring In Being A Pantomime Cow) Fit Mark offered me the Bluebell Hill run and I was so fixated on 'bluebell' that I missed the word 'hill' completely. Now, the triathlon is a bit different - this time it's the word 'club' that I've completely missed. A triathlon club is full of very fit people who are hugely competitive and train, properly, to do triathlons. In fairness, I did email and say 'I'm a total beginner I don't want to be the slowest is it suitable' to which they responded 'yes of course give us your 35 quid'.

We pitched up at Bathurst Lido in Lydney at 8.20am this morning, helped by New Running Dog waking us up by barking at 5am. Please, if anybody has a cure for night barking, TELL US NOW. We're soooooooooooo tired being woken up by New Running Dog at either 1am, 3am or 5am. At the moment my favoured solution is taping her very long nose shut overnight which might not entirely find favour with the RSPCA... Anyway, we were at the lido good and early and I plonked my bike on the racking and got chatting to the other competitors. Much hilarity ensued as I was allocated the number 007 - about as unsuitable as it could be. The others expected me to either emerge from the pool looking like Ursula Andress (yeah, right) or in a tuxedo (also yeah right). I pointed out that I did my last tri with the brakes on to dampen their expectations...

Yes, that is a number 7 imprinted on my arm with indelible pen. I also have one on my leg. I expect they'll wear off. Eventually.

The swim was in Bathhurst Lido (lovely outdoor pool at a balmy 20c) so no need for a wetsuit (hurrah!) then the 20k bike was around the local Forest of Dean roads and finally a 5k run through Lydney Park Estate (which apparently had lovely rhododendrons about two months ago). There were four waves of the swim start (only about 25 competitors in all) and I was in Wave 3 - the second fastest. Eek. My fellow wave members all said they were novices and then shot off down the pool doing Olympic style crawl at a hugely impressive speed.

By the end of the first 40m length they were half a pool ahead of me. To be fair, they didn't get any further ahead - I'm a one pace swimmer and they weren't any quicker, apart from at the start. As I was finishing the last wave was just starting, then I was out and on the bike and away...

It was a lonely bike ride on the A48 around Lydney - wide roads, fast cars and long slow hills. I swear it was more uphill than downhill. I got passed by 3 impressive looking cyclists, all with those 'resting forward' handlebars that you only use when you know what you're doing, and then by a young girl in a proper tri outfit going uphill faster than me. Gradually it dawned on me (I think because of the organisers taking down the directional arrows as I went past) that I was the last out on the cycle run. Bummer. They pulled alongside me in the car and asked if I was ok... I said I was struggling a bit and they said not to worry 'it's all downhill or flat from here'.

They'd clearly been to the Fit Mark School of Motivational Speaking. There was another long slow uphill and a particularly vicious windy uphill to come, then a longer downhill... By the time I got back to the transition area everybody else was coming back from the run, at which point I decided 'enough is enough' and I chickened out of the 5k (hilly) run. To be fair, if I had done it the organisers would have had to wait another 45 minutes or so and would never have got home to their Sunday roasts.

I handed back my timing chip and my number and they said 'come and get your T shirt'. Obviously my response was 'No, thank you - I haven't completed so I shouldn't have one'. Hotly pursued by 'Oh, OK then...' as you should never look a gift horse and all that...

As we packed up and left a few runners were still coming back in - I would have been a long way behind and it wouldn't have been much fun on my own, so we came home and THEN I went out and did my 5k run. Hah - completed it after all, then! Albeit it with a gap and some lunch in between the cycle and the run...

So I'm wearing my T shirt. Not necessarily with pride, and with very tired legs.

And I'll watch out for that word 'club' in the future...